Dear Dreary.
Question : When is a sport not a sport?
Answer : When your doctor says so! Allow me to expand. Following my annual 'MOT' at the local surgery, my doc suggested i needed to lose a little weight. He said i should exercise more and eat healthier. As a clever way of combining the two, i took up fishing. I also discovered darts, doms, + snooker by joining my local British Legion. I was so pleased with myself. I was suddenly a committed all-round sportsman and a regular fish eater. After three months i made a follow-up appointment at the doctor's. Imagine my bewilderment when the doc weighed me. I had put on two stone! Now he's told me i should be playing some sport called cardigan vascular or something. Trouble is i don't own a cardigan. Would my tank top be ok do you think? He also put me on medication for high potention, whatever that is. Finally, and i thought he was quite rude at this point and started shouting at me, he thinks i'm ready for a new hearing aid.
It's very confusing getting old! Can you help at all? Love, Albert Pierjoint, Hanging Rock.


Dear Albert.
If you haven't got a cardigan why not take up knitting and make your own? Kills two birds with one stone. Well, in your case, two stone!
Knitting is one of the newer sports being introduced into the modern Olympic Games this year.
As well as speed knitting there's also cross country stitch, cox less crochet for women and endurance embroidery.
Then you've got the thimble relay, pin vaulting onto a lovely soft cushion and the bobble hat sleigh team where you've got to knit a bobble hat whilst careering down an icy slope.
Give it a go. You could be one if the nations national treasures by the end of the summer.
Just a warning, take regular breaks from exercise or you may suffer from pins and needles.　
Dreary. x
Thanks D. Strangely enough, prior to the offensive on El Alamein, we were trained up as speed milliners as the army ran out of suitable headgear. My favourite creation was a lovely pink fedora. Unfortunately, i was shot in the head twenty minutes after i first wore it. Could'nt understand it.