Dear Dreary.
I need some advice regarding my career. When i left school i was forced to become a carer for my elderly aunt. She had a reputation as being something of a witch but we generally got on well enough to get by. Then one day she suddenly turned on me. Although bed-ridden, she forced me out to work and then spent what little money i earnt.
Fortunatey i became good friends with my workmates down the mine. They are something of an odd bunch though. Between them they're either child-like, stupid, reclusive, germ-ridden, depressed, or hopelessly shy. It all makes for an interesting day at work and at least they all spend the day with a tune in their heads.
I do need a change though and would appreciate any advice. I get so tired that some days i feel like going home and sleeping forever.
Can you suggest where i can turn?
Yours, Miss S.white

Dear Miss White.
A change is as good as a rest.
There's a castle just up the road from you. You can sleep all day there and get a shag off a fine Prince afterwards.
If you fancy a bit of rough you could stay over at the Beasts house. He has some amusing crockery.
If you fancy somewhere a little more exotic why not take a trip to the jungle. They like big pussy there and you could happily hang upside down from a tree with the king of the swingers.
Personally I'd stay where you are with your little friends and get the witch 'round. You could all pile on your bed and play bedknobs and broomsticks all night long!
Dreary. x
　
Ahhh thanks Dreary.
I'm off to work in a mo but i'll think about what you've said. Like the idea of shagging the Prince.
Now, just going to have this apple for breakfast........