Dear Dreary,
To cut to the chase, I’m a foetus and I’m bloody well annoyed to say the least. Conditions in here are appalling quite frankly. It’s cramped and very dark. There’s not enough room to swing a cat in here.
Food’s appalling and the only visitor I get is a big, horrible pink thing with one mean looking eye! He’s fucking weird.
He comes in, then he goes out again. Comes in, then goes out again. This carries on for some time, each time he pops his head round the door a little faster. And without so much as a by your leave he spits at me then buggers off! Now that’s not normal. What sort of example is that to set a child?
I have a brown friend that pops in every now and then. He’s quite funny. He’s really big and fat with a big, round pink head. Mind you, he’s just as rude as the other one.
Do you think I should say something?
Yours,
Timothy Eggspunk.
　
　
　
　
　
Dear Timmy.
You surprise me. You don’t know how lucky you are in there. Safe and warm, cosseted from reality. And don’t worry about the food, it will get better.
And as for your visitors, it would appear that you are being walked the streets at night so you cant deny that you are getting plenty of fresh air.
Gradually you will change your position on life and before too long you will begin to see a little light at the end of the tunnel.
Until then, stop being such a little baby and just grow up.
Dreary. x