Dear Dreary.
A few months ago I caused an accident. It was a lovely sunny day and i was happily driving through the town centre, arm out of the window, when i spotted my old pal Alan walking along. I automatically waved and shouted to him, but in doing so i lost control of the car and knocked an old man off his bike. He is still in hospital with multiple fractures and will be there for some time.
My problem is this. I am now suffering from flashbacks of the accident and struggling to sleep, but worst of all, I have developed a nervous tick. This occurs when i least expect it and is very embarrassing. My right arm shoots straight up in the style of the nazi salute. I just can't control it and this is now causing me all sorts of problems.
Recently, whenever this has happened, i have also started to shout '' Hi Al!' . This happened yesterday as i was walking past the synagogue and somebody called me a nazi and rang the police. My friend Karl who works in the Polish deli, and his friend Justin have also stopped talking to me.
Can you suggest anything?
Please help.
Herman Slurring, Frankfurt.


Dear Herman.
Although unusual, records do exist of patients who have suffered from similar afflictions over the years.
Jethro Bleating had a rowing boat accident in 1962 and nearly drowned. He thought he was Nelson and would parade up and down the high street whilst looking through his spying glass with his erect winky sticking out of his trousers shouting kiss my hardy!
It's a little known fact that more aircraft were lost at sea during the second world war than any where else. This was down to the antics of Geoffrey Poole who was responsible for guiding the planes back on to the carrier with his brightly coloured table tennis bats.
Unfortunately a theatre accident years ago made him think he was Charlie Chaplain. The pilots would be coming into land, see our Geoffrey doing his silly walk, twirling his cane about and crash straight into the sea, tears of laughter streaming down their cheeks.
You're not alone.
I'll send you a leaflet.
Dreary. x