Dear Dreary.
 I would appreciate some career advice. My desire to make it as a actor has faced something of an uphill battle recently. For some reason, nobody seems to take me seriously. But I think I may have spotted an opportunity. With the sad passing of James Gandolfini, the producers are searching for the new Tony Soprano, and I believe I should get an audition. What do you think? I have the necessary lived-in,grizzled expression, a foul temper when roused, and -- my not so secret trademark -- a lethal weapon. I am trained and primed. The "family" would never be quite the same ever again. I am just not sure whether or not I should invest in a new wardrobe.
Thanks in advance Drears for any advice.
Yours,Timmy Mallett.


In my mind, there's no shortage of work for you, which is, sadly, something that can't be said for everyone at the moment.
Good news eh?
Scientists, for example, are always on the lookout for small rodents to perform experiments on!
The military are always short of live targets to fire at and HM Prison Service pay good money for rent boys to visit dangerous in mates.
Mike Tyson is looking for a new sparring partner and I've also heard that Charles Manson is a big fan of yours and wants to meet you. He's been quoted in several interviews as saying that he'd love to show you how to get the most out of that mallett of yours!
Put me down as a reference!
Dreary. xx