Dear Dreary.
My husband is a driving instructor and driving me up the wall, particularly in the bedroom department.
He's adopted his own terminology for various sexual positions.
Anal sex is now 'wrong way up the one way'.
'Slipping into first and second' lends reference to coming up my garden path and dumping his rubbish in my back yard.
'Fill her up' and 'dribbling nozzle' are fairly self explanatory whilst a 'hill start' is when he takes me from behind half way up the stairs. At least that's what he told his mother he was doing as she passed us 'en route' from the kitchen to the vestibule to water her begonias.
Don't even get me started on his theories about duel carriageways!!
I wish I could do a U turn with my life and marry a fighter pilot.
Yours,
Mrs P. Handbrake.

Mrs. H.
Be careful what you wish for. I had a boyfriend who was training in the RAF and his idea of foreplay was to whistle the dambusters theme and launch himself, arms in the wing position, shouting ''chocs away capn'' and when he climaxed ,''bombs gone!'' .
Another old flame was a submariner. On shore leave he would romance me by arousing himself then announcing ''periscope up!''. His party trick was accompanied by ''torpedo gone'', but, believe me, it very often missed its intended target. Sad to say, this is a normal man's way of communicating and not something to worry about.
My first husband was a captain in the army. His was a scattergun approach and something like living in a minefield. We tried for a family but despite him aiming at any girl who moved, turned out he was firing blanks. He ended up on stage in The Gay Hussars.
Hope this helps. Fondest doodahs,
Dreary. x