Dear Dreary,
my name is Noddy made famous in the books by Enid Blyton and to cut to the chase, I've lost my bell-end. It's shiny, very bulbous and it makes a noise when you shake it. Thing is, it's getting me into trouble every time I ask if anyone has seen it.
For instance, I went up to Mrs Bear the other day and asked her if she'd seen it. She gave me a lollipop and after looking over her shoulder she tried to drag me in the lady bears toilets.
I asked the same question to Mr Plod who went all giddy and pink cheeked, strip searched me,hosed me down and left me stood next to his desk with only his helmet to protect my modesty. Even Big Ears gets a lump in his throat at the very mention of my shiny tinkle!
Please Dreary, have you seen it?
Noddy.



　Dear Noddy,
please try not to worry. Marvellous things can be achieved with reconstructive surgery these days and i believe Toytown boasts a fine repair and restoration department. The London-based consultant, Dr.Hamley, is recognised as the world's finest in his field and i am sure he will restore your appendage to a fully working model. He performed outstanding work on Looby Lou,after the sorry incident that resulted in Andy Pandy being found guilty of puppetphaelia, Her reproductive organs have been replaced with a new tighter set. and she can now look forward to years more fun in the toybox. You will be dangling your bell again before you know it. I an sending you my leaflet "Safe Fun In Toyland"

You can upload photos to :-www.DD.co.uk or to my facebook page once the operation is complete and the bandages removed. Once i have seen the evidence i may be willing to pull your string personally if i decide to feature your case in my upcoming summer special, " Private Lives Of Puppets, Finger Control". Until then,look after yourself and remember, lubricate, lubricate, lubricate.