Dear Dreary.
As founder and secretary of the North Lancs Fetish Society I thought i'd seen it all, but recent events have amazed even me, so i thought i'd share some experiences and maybe bring a little hope to some of your more unfortunate readers. We meet every thursday evening in Knott End village hall, and anything goes!
The location is convenient as on our many 'themed' nights we often take advantage of other local venues such as farmer Green's milking parlour, the strap room at the Olde Smithy, the old stocks in the village square, and the medieval 'bumming' chair in the vestry at St.Cecilia's. Basically, the entire village closes down on a thursday evening and in no time at all it's knee deep in lube and discarded johnnies. Even the old folks join in!
We have a disabled / wheelchair-friendly swingers session in the Stephen Hawking Suite at the Bayview Hotel. It's very popular and some of the stuff they've been getting up to in there recently is mind-boggling. Spina Bifida victim Anita Short likes to greet everyone at the door with her speciality body exploration before we all settle down to our individual pleasures. Her toes are simply magical. Old Don Campbell brings along his racing wheelchair that he sometimes uses in marathons. He launches himself from the wheelchair ramp on the first floor, down the main staircase, takes a sharp right, and screeches into the suite, straight into the waiting arms and expectant crotch of dear old Mrs. Peabody, strapped waiting in ankle stirrups in the 'welcome' position.
Our popular limbless couple, Bob and Pat McGroin, have heroic and noisy sex for all to see! He lies on his back as his nurse prepares his middle - and only - leg, whilst Pat's carers swing her over him on a hoist before releasing her onto his waiting column. It's a bit like a weird game of hoopla. Blind Jack Pugh plays 'Guess Who' by standing naked on a chair and asking everyone in the room to take a lick, then he has to guess who each participent was.
He has only ever been wrong once, the week Mr.Noakes brought his sheepdog Jake in with him. Young Andy Legge is recently back from Afghanistan, minus lower limbs unfortunately. After a couple of weeks with us,he met yoga instructor and ex-circus performer Fiona 'Flexible' Friend. They were made for each other and are already head over stumps in love. So my message to the physically impaired of you out there is don't give up on having a satisfying sex life. I'm sure you'd agree Dreary? Regards, Colonel Gimp Stiffe, Hardiman's Slit, Pillage-Le-Fylde.

Dear Colonel Gimp.
Your story is an inspiration to us all. Against all odds you lot are getting a lot more with a lot less and your creativity knows no bounds!
I havn't had wild sexual gratification like that since I was in the TA on a ramble up gaping gash. The dirtiest it ever gets these days is when Arthur keeps his socks on that he's worn for a week and wipes his knob on the curtains afterwards.
We've tried role play too which sadly lacked the pazzaz I was hoping for.
Being chained to the bed whilst your over fed balding husband leaps off the wardrobe at you dressed as Fred West didn't really dampen my gusset.
I think I'd sooner chop me leg off and come over and join you guys.
Fetch the stirrups!!
Dreary. x