Dear Dreary.
Me and my mate, Long John Black Crack, have set up a pirate radio station and it's not been without it's teething troubles.
For one thing I'm sea sick so we've had to borrow my mates barge on the canal and if I'm completely honest I'm not convinced we're far enough away from the long arm of the law. I don't think that being moored on the canal next to the 'running pump' public house is classed as international waters.
Anyway, it seems that the only pirates we're appealing to are from Somalia and phone ins for quizzes and requests are quite frankly a nightmare.
Our playlist is minimal with Friggin' In The Riggin', the theme tune to Captain Pugwash and We Are Sailing basically being it.
We've tried poaching listeners from Desert Island Disks but to no avail.
On the up turn we do have the Tom Robinson Crusoe Band coming on Friday playing a rendition of message in a bottle.
Is it still politically correct to ejaculate over a man servant performing a cover version of a popular known hit?
Yours,
Peg Leg Willy.

My dear P-L.
I can't help but think you're very close to a brilliant idea here. Your obviously gay love boat set up would be a sensation with a bit of tweaking. Sail the barge to Manchester. Mooring charges are dirt cheap on the back end of Canal street where you can set yourselves up as Blackbeard's Gay Cruises and party up + down the city's dark satanic passageways and damp tunnels, making a fortune as you go. Just add a man-o-war and a black pearl to your crew and you'lI have them queing up to mince the plank. I would also imagine that having a glass bottom could add another dimension to the experience, and that a Jolly Rogering could be had by all.
Bon Voyage!
Dreary. x