Dear Dreary.
I went swimming the other day to get fit and promised myself that on the first day I would swim five lengths, which I did. Trouble is, I'm now stuck in the deep end of the swimming baths with no way of getting out as the changing rooms and exit from the baths are accessed from the shallow end. I know I should have geared myself up for six lengths but there you have it I suppose. Stranded.
I've gone all wrinkly and very chilly. The pool attendants have been most encouraging, one or two even suggesting that I swim to the other
end or climb up the ladder out of the pool and walk back around. Ah, the ignorance of youth!
I'm getting in the way of an aqua zumba class at the moment and people are accusing me of leaving floaters in the pool. Well, I have been stranded for over a week, what do they expect?
Save me!
Yours,
Sharon Crisp
Poolton

Dear Sharon.

A less appropriate surname would be hard to imagine,given your current predicament. I commend your patience and fortitude. I am very impressed. A couple of thoughts spring to mind : do they turn the lights off at night? You could pretend to be a Titanic survivor,clinging desperately to passing turds, or an Amity Island holidaymaker squinting through the darkness on the lookout for that solitary fin. Just a couple of ideas to help you get through those damp lonely evenings. I also wondered how much weight you had lost during your forced immersion. You could be onto something there. New diets are always popular, and there would be no easy opt-out with this method. Lack of willpower would not even be a consideration,especially if the participant were say padlocked to a heavy bouy or possibly chained to an anchor. Perhaps you could let me know at what point the skin begins to degenerate and flake off. Just so i can cover my back against possible future legal claims after i h
ave launched the diet. I was thinking of calling it The Swim Yourself Slim Diet. I'd be interested in what
you think. And lets face it,you have plenty of thinking time on your wrinkly hands. D.
I'm very sorry. I can't reply presently as my Basildon Bond keeps getting wet and my Parker pen won't work under water.