Dear Dreary.
++ possibly to the tune of The
Floral Dance ++
I've got a boil in an awkard spot, it's deep and it seeps and it weeps a lot. Equally placed via front or back, equi-distant 'tween arse and crack.
The doctor said "you'll probably find this rules out activities of the sexual kind." The doc says the cause was a friction rash, from leathery straps and a dried out gash. I never know
when I've had enough, i've had it all up my flamin chuff. The Royal Marines Band, a boy scout group, Man United and the Riverdance troupe. A Samurai sword with serated edge, hand-picked salad, and assorted veg. So an agony aunt is my final hope, i've even tried antibiotic soap. All i need is a change of luck, a big black fella and an all night fuck. Can you help with some sound advice, my fannys feeling like its in a vice.
Yours, Philomena Minge, Cheddar Gorge.


My dear Philomena ++ to the tune of my favourite things ++
Vaginal warts and a discharge of mucous, turn some men on so are likely to puke less.
Give them a cock ring and soft Vaseline, your nook and your cranny's now spotlessly clean!
A selection, of erection's, what you plainly need.
The tramps in the shelter are desperate this year.
You're just what they all.........might need!
Dreary. x