Dear Dreary.
Can you help me with my problem? A childhood period of mumps left me with a strangely deformed, redundant testicle,that has neither hair nor purpose. It's a runt that has lost its reproductive capabilities and its natural shape. I have become somewhat obsessed by its appearance,and now i have reached my twenties, there are some days when i have even considered mutilation. It seems to be able to change appearance at will. I got up one morning
and i swear i had mr.potato head hanging there. One day its Yul Brynner,the next its Tiny Tim. What i can't figure out is why it's looks vary so much. It could just as easily look like a ripe juicy plum as like a sad shrivelled kiwi fruit. Could it be signs of life are returning? My lack of confidence also holds me back where girls are concerned. One girlfriend told me it was like licking a old prune. Just yesterday my good 'un was plump,bursting,and proud, the runt
meanwhile was pathetically sad,deformed,and deflated. I drew a sad little face on it and the two of them were transformed into a testicular version of Laurel and Hardy. It can be most unsettling having an ostrich egg in one pocket and a budgie egg in the other. One's a fine specimen of a walnut in its prime, the other is the last little nut in the bag. Do you think prolonged sessions of wankerage would have a detrimental effect? I don't want to risk any further damage but i get to the point where the good one (my left) overflows and the sluice gates need to be opened to relieve some of the pressure. It doesn't help that i dress to the left as all the action happens on one side of my undies. Daytime seepage and tight underwear is best avoided and i was thrown off a bus recently for making the necessary adjustments downstairs after the vehicle's movements aroused Oliver Hardy. I have enclosed the photo i took in the gents at Asda. You can see that with the addition of a small piece of fuzzy felt, one looks like Kelly Brooke, the other Mother Teresa. Would some sort of implant be possible do you think,just to even things up a bit? I try my best to share the love equally and stroke Stan whenever i can but this just seems to activate Ollie who invariably ends up emptying his ballast into my hand. Another fine mess! What do you suggest?
Fondest best wishes,
Albert Hall,
Pimply-On-The-Mound.
My dear Albert.
Don't be too hard on yourself.
Great double acts have always had the foil so to speak.
Eric and little Earn for starters. The big one is generally the viewers favourite and the little one is often tolerated just like yours.
Little and Large of course. One of theirs spends a lot if time in the Strawberry as does yours.
The thing is people like a good laugh and, like these great comedy duos, your tackle will have people laughing their cocks off!
I bet you're a hit with the ladies! Girls love a sense of humour and with balls like yours you'll have them hysterical, all the way to the vinegar stroke.
When your Dick is trying to be Dasterdly it's no fun I suppose having someone sniggering in the background at your shrivelled Muttleys. Your proud, extrovert Tom being ridiculed by little Jerry.
Carpe Bollox, seize the balls!!!
Dreary. X