Dear Dreary.
I'm a man who likes a firm crease. I love holding my balls and rubbing them up and down my thighs before going at it full pelt to give a good, hard delivery.
I especially like to oil my wood to keep it in tip top condition, holding it with both hands, impressing my wife by throwing it over my shoulder.
I'm looking for young boys to share my
passion and live out my fantasies.
I shall groom them to concentrate hard on their stroke and to hit my balls hard all the time, every time.
I'll be coming from the Pavilion end and I fully expect them to take everything I give them. Sometime it's going to hurt but that's the name of the game.
Any youngsters who don't know their googlies from their elbow should get in touch with the M.C.C and ask for Larry Hatchback.

Thanks for that Larry.
It's always heartwarming to hear of people willing to put something back into today's youngsters. My second husband Perry was the secretary of the under sixteens section of the West Cumbrian Highland Games, and spent hours with kids up in the fells and practising Cumbrian wrestling. The stories he used to bring home about introducing young Dickie Fiddles to Craggy End or guiding an inexperienced Patsy Squerm around Nether Crevice. He got on the news once when he single-handidly rescued half a dozen teenage boys lost on High Stack and assisted them hand in hand down to Black Rim where they huddled together in a disused drover's hut in Dante's Hole. He was a hero, and wrongly imprisoned in my view so don't let that put you off. These kids are lucky to have a helping hand as they find their way along life's rocky path. Just make sure they have their boxes fitted correctly. We wouldn't want the little darlings to be harmed, would we?
Regards, Dreary.