Dear Dreary.
I don't actually have a problem. My life is perfect and I am completely without fault. It strikes me however that it's you who has the problem you nosy, prying busy body!
It's disgusting the way you finger your way through other people's misery. Why don't you
finger yourself for a change?!
My giraffe, Darren, killed himself because of you. He wrote in once telling you he wanted to be a hen but you just laughed in his face and told him that it's a stupid name for a hen and that if he did lay an egg from that height he could potentially kill someone.
How do you sleep at night?
On your own I bet!
Johnny Morris,
Leamington.

Johnny. Was i right or was i right? Giraffe? Hen? And i thought you called yourself an expert? It's no good trying to blame ME for your mental state, i was just offering a little advice. I see now that my softly softly approach to your problem has not helped as much as i had intended, but it is always difficult to gauge somebody's true mental state without meeting them in the flesh. I won't make that mistake again. So, fruitbat, still talking to the animals? Still making up those ridiculous animal accents you worthless piece of elephant dung? How is the new tv series going? That's right Johnny, there's been no new series for thirty wasted years, has there, loser? Your imaginary alter-ego Dolittle has turned out to be strangely appropriate, as you've been doing VERY frigging little now for decades. If someone told me you had actually died ages ago i honestly could not say i had missed you. And i should imagine the animals feel the same way. Why would they want to be looked after by som
e looney tune, overtly gay paedo keeper with voices in his head? Bet you even bought the hat in Whipsnade souvenir shop didn't you ,shit-shoveller? You are the ultimate example of a washed-up,pointless, has-been. Go stick your bonce up a hippo's arse. And stay up wind of me please. Dreary. ps : Dear friend, if you find this service has helped you, please be kind enough to post a comment on my feedback wall, available at www.ilovedreary.co.uk.