Not at all seasonal, but.......................

Dear Dreary.
Last christmas i gave her my heart but the very next day she threw it away. Driving home for christmas, i had a call. She said i was ''a scumbag, a faggot, with a dick like a maggot''. I shouted back '' did i catch you kissing santa claus? Did you ride upon his sleigh?''. She disappeared, saying she intended building something in a meadow with some vicar. Months later, out of the blue, i received a text. It read as follows : ''It'll be lonely this christmas without you to hold, it'll be lonely this christmas, lonely and cold. And the wind blows right through you its no place for the old. It'll be cold so cold without you to hold, this christmas.'' Do you think there's still hope that she still wants a wonderful life together in our winter wonderland or will i once again be home alone? All the best. R. Rumpapumpum.


Dear Rumpapumpum.
Are you hanging up your noose above the tree?
Taken pills and left a note for all to see?
Does your bed lay cold and empty, where your girlfriend used to lie?
Don't forget to leave a sherry and mince pie!
So here it is, Merry Christmas why not jump off Beachy Head?
Leave all your presents now, they're no good when your deaeaeaead!
Only kidding!
Merry Christmas!! x
　
some fuckin saint you are Nic. Fuck you