Dear Dreary.
I met my girlfriend on the set of 'Two Randy Mules For Sister Sarah''. It's a moving story about an animal-loving nun. I was the sound engineer, sticking my boom into various sticky situations, she was a ''fluffer'', that is to say whenever an action scene was about to be filmed it was her job to bring the man's part to the fore. She's had all sorts in her hands, white, black, asian, persian, african, chinese, vietnamese, straight, gay, bendy, circumcised, hooded, equine,you name it she's wanked it.
This has presented me with a couple of issues. Firstly, when we try to have sex i just don't measure up compared to what she comes across every working day. She says ''why eat a gherkin when you've tasted marrow?''. It's very upsetting + a massive turn-off, and her home grunts are nothing like her work grunts. Secondly, on the rare instances she can be bothered to arouse me she just leaves me hanging on, as tho she thinks she's still at work.
She never finishes anything she starts, it's very frustrating, then she calls me a dirty boy when i have to resort to spanking the little fella myself while she reads her latest ''Horse and Rider Illustrated''.
Work has also become a nightmare. Everyone is laughing behind my back,+ to make matters worse she has put her name down for overtime. She is now stand-in for the leading lady, Patti Pantmoor,and has volunteered to do all the anal footage and cum scenes in ''Torn Apart 2''.
She is taking on too much, the poor thing's buggered every day, though at least the climax shots are good for her complexion.
She is also becoming involved with leading man Phil McAvitty + is being stretched this way and that and does'nt know which way to turn next.
When she was filming ''My Sister Wants To Be Whipped '' it was like she was being pushed from pillar to post.
I am beginning to wish i'd never left my job on the gay scouting channel ''It's Nob-A-Job Week.''
Can you see any way forward for us?
Regards,
Alan A'Dale,Notts.



Dear Alan.
It's the classic case of not bringing your work home with you. I've seen it so many times before and it breaks families apart sadly.
There was the case of that policeman not too long ago. Lovely fella on the job. You knew the streets were safe when he was pounding his beat. At home, never paid his bills, kicked the cat and even burgled his own house.
Then there was the doctor. Never had an Elastoplast in the house. Family died of pneumonia.
The fireman that was arrested for arson, the headmaster who had his children taken off him because they were thick and the builder who froze to death in his tent.
There was the postman who never received a Christmas card, evening paper or betterware catalogue and the nun who ran a brothel from her 'two up two down'.
Why not try and get your wife a job in church or something. A nice job doing nice, clean things. Then, when she comes home she'll be like a rat up a drain pipe!!!!

Thanks D,appreciate your help. There is a vacancy at the local sausage factory she could go for. She would be shaping sausage meat into their skins then pulling them into metre lengths.
Hmmmm.........i think i'll have to think that out again!