Dear Dreary.
My wife has just left hospital after a miner operation. She's not the woman I married all those years ago since the op.
Since moving back home she insists on wearing a helmet, overalls and carrying a spade and a canary into the back garden where she's been digging for the last two weeks apparently looking for a new face to chip away at. Well, she's certainly chipped away at her own. She's like a stand in for the
black and White minstrels show.
She's got me looking on eBay for any old Arthur Scargill posters for her bedroom wall.
I don't know what's worse. I'm in for Major surgery next week and I'm worried I might form a small army, grow a silly moustache, wave a stick around and conquer Clithero.
The NHS needs a good seeing to! Especially the nurses!
Who's in charge?
Frankie Phillips.

Dear Frankie.
I know exactly where you are coming from with the NHS. A friend of mine went in with a clot,but the stupid asian doctor mis-read her notes and removed her clitoris. Keeps it in a jar now on her mantelpiece and strokes it for old time sake every birthday.Then there was my uncle Nobby who had an operation on his in-growing foreskin. Caught the Nova virus in there, and now everytime he sees a Vauxhall he comes out in a rash. Very inconvenient. Apparently its an Astraphysical reaction. Driving him mad it is. You have my sympathy dear.
What can we do about it? Fuck all.
Next!