Dear Dreary.
I feel utterly redundant as a human being and helpless to go anywhere or do anything.
You have to be 16 to ride a moped and 17 to drive a car.

You have to be 14 to see a AA and 18 to see an X.
16 to join the armed forces and 17 to become an au pair. You have to be 18 to vote and 16 to fly an aeroplane solo.
I'm 47.
Why do teenagers have all the fun?
PS Apparently there are no age restrictions in becoming an astronaut!
Lester Grebe.
Upper FluteBarrow. Ipswich.


Get a grip Lester. Half your life is still ahead of you! Take heart from the example of Sir Hilary Bangs, intrepid East Anglian turkey farmer and Antarctic Explorer. He had never left his native Stiffam before the age of 50, but went on to sail singlehanded to South Georgia accompanied by only 2 dozen hybrid Norfolk Blacks in a daring attempt to establish the turkey in the South Americas. All this despite being a cross-dresser and having only one leg since birth and a bit of a sore throat on the day he sailed from Lowestoft. What courage! What determination! What an entrepreneur! A shining light for us all to follow. There is nothing you can't achieve if you set your mind to it!
Love,Dreary.
PS : Hilary's courage never left him, even though the farm failed as it transpired that male turkey's testicles drop off at temperatures of minus twenty, and Hilary lost his other leg when his favourite gingham frock became trapped in the wheels of a passing combine harvester. He ended his days lonely but proud of his efforts, comforted by the sound of mating whales and the occassional penguin fritter.