Dear Dreary.
Watya no bitch. I woud be intrested to know your thawts on the curant stait of our motherfucker edducatering sistern. Yeers of dumbling down have, I beleive, left a generashiun of motherfuckin kids under prepaid and, in sum cases, bearly illiterate. This is the resultium of concentriode puriode on exampliode passiode. We are contintinuing to let these mothers down with a softly softly heyhey i'm a monkee appwoach to dissiplin that leafs them confusiund and dishengreengaged.
Watyasay bitch? There are thymes i disrepair. The old school tie is long john, the progreshun to university no
longer anne achievement. Standrads have not just slipped,they have fallened over and re-fuse to pull themshelves back up. Even the roll of a proffessa has changed beeyond all recognishun. Wattle and daaube have todays' younglitude gotten to luck four wood too eye ear ewe say? Our next genderation of market garders
and shopcreepers,what will they a spire to? No motherfuckin barsted has any standawds or screwpulls.
Its all me me me ow are we gonna prowgress?

Prof.Green, Kings College Cambridge.

My dear Professor.
Thank goodness for great intellects such as yours.
The way they speak these days is an insult to the English language. Luckily us few remain what can speak proper innit and shall never be influenced by such shite as that.
I pride meself on me grammer nd the way av bin brought up nd that just like me mam, aunty Janice nd her mum before her.
I never ad sex before marriage. Probably why I'm still a virgin. I always brushed me teeth after a blowy though and never took it up the bum between meals.
It's what keeps Britain great people like you and me Cheesy.
PS yer rappin's well shit!
Dreary. x