Dear Dreary.
I cannot live with this any longer. It has eaten away at me for decades now, but the recent 'perormance' by my nemesis at the Olympics has simply left me shaking with rage. How this man could live with himself all this time, and reap fantastic rewards from my misery is almost beyond my comprehension. Let me say this name just the once. McCartney. There i've said it. Idolised and feted around the world, this worthless piece of shit has made my life a misery since 1966. He shamelessly used my name because it happened to fit that moronic, childish tune he wrote. Not only that, the words were totally
as well as idiotic. Surprise, surprise I did in fact NOT keep my face in a jar by the door, nor was i buried along with my name. I reckon the dirty old fucker was stalking me. I am still very much alive and about to make you pay you spineless, cringeworthy specmen who has the face of one of those twatting toads you unfortunately warbled about. Even though the local vic
ar is now a very close friend and a trusted confidante, I would not even consider wasting my life picking up rice in the churchyard after a fucking wedding. What do you take me for shitface? Forty years of hurt will soon be avenged. watch your back, twat. You can't buy MY love. You'll be wishing it was yesterday. Yours, Eleanor Rigby and Father McKenzie, Liverpool.

Dear Eleanor and Father McKenzie.
You're not the only ones wanting revenge over that smarmy, mop top twat.
Yesterday seemed very far away but it's very much today and his troubles are breathing down the back of his underpants.
Jude has finally got out of prison after forty years and is very much looking forward to fire bombing his house again.
The relatives of the sixty four year old terrorised on the Sgt Pepper hit are planning to release pictures of our bastard Beatle performing a sex act over the 64 yr old bus driver.
Recently, a rent boy back in the late sixties, came out to the national papers saying that back in the day Paul couldn't keep his hands off me and his favourite position was giving him a 'honey pie'! My bottoms not been the same since. He never saw any royalties from that song and is looking to sue the knob.
The list is endless.
It's going to be a long and winding road, hopefully leading to Beachy Head.
Dreary. x