Dear Dreary.
I've recently been made unemployed and finding another job has proven very difficult.
However, I have been fortunate to find a new job but it's not really what I expected.
I've got a job as a door supervisor. Why a door needs supervising is beyond me.
I watch it open. I watch it close. Sometimes things are posted through it. Most of the time it does nothing. Some have tried knocking on it. I saw this as deliberate and willful damage and quite rightly informed the appropriate authorities.
In winter months I have noticed that the wood swells and requires a more
concentrated 'push' to gain access, again which I see as a very aggressive act. I've offered to plain the wood but the way things are going I feel like knocking somebody's block off!
I'd prefer supervising a curtain in a ladies changing room.
Please help,
Gok Wank,
Stools.

Dearest Gok.
You talk of wanting to put an end to slamming swollen wood into various holes and your desire to be amongst women changing. This is bog standard, first year Uni social worker territory, the obvious and thinly-veiled wish to transform both your life and your gender, the hope to make things "plain" as you say.
Before rushing into things however, a couple of words if warning. I would advise you to complete the trans gender process as quickly as possible, otherwise you may find that you suffer from what are commonly termed "confused genes", what the experts call "Geneality Amendment and Synchrinicity Hormones" illness (GASH).
If the GASH is not correctly aligned, you will encounter a subsequent problem with the Core Lip and Internal Treatment (CLIT), that may result in a deformed Central Uterus Node Tract. I would also recommend that you read Professor Naggi Itchimufti's famous study paper "Testes : What Are The Signs? ", commonly known as the "TWATS guide".
Once you have completed the process my only advice would be to stand behind the curtains and pull yourself together.
Happy surgery! D.